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Back in Action

on September 9, 2010

So I have a rant today, this is probably more to me that to any one else.  I’ve come to a place in my faith where I’m realizing that it isn’t good enough to just “follow” Jesus.  That’s not what a Christian is.  In actuality, I’m supposed to be a part of him, he, my head is to be in control of all I think, say and do.  It’s crazy when you actually count the cost.  Death to yourself.  We hear this term over and over and for most of us it never actually means anything.  Most of us never comprehend it, but I sit here today and my heart is stirred because I realize that it means EVERYTHING, every part of me has to yield to him.  It’s not easy, but especially difficult when you only know of him, but don’t really know him on a deeply personal and intimate level.  He’s not my best friend, he’s not my lover, he’s not this “person”, HE’S MY GOD.  I can’t try to bring him down to my level, I shouldn’t.  I should be making every attempt to rise to his, not in an effort to take his place, no, I know he’s God who created me and I’m grateful because I could never do what he does, but my compassion, my love, my forgiveness, all the areas where I’m able and not only able but called to, in all these areas I must rise.  So what holds me back?  Why is it so hard.  Do you get it?  Do you see that we must be born again.  Does that even mean more than mere words to you?  my mother birthed me physically, but I was dead spiritually until he intervened and made me recognize my need for him, my need for life…spiritual life…eternal life.  My God, My God, my holy awesome God has adopted me, give me a home, the greatest home and though I’m not yet there I must acknowledge that my citizenship remains there even while I’m here and I must carry my passport and be a representative of my home.  I’m so selfish and I’m so prideful and I’m so irreverent, but I’m so broken and I’m so dependent and I’m so forgiven…  I don’t wanna play the game anymore.  I don’t wanna act the part.  I wanna be who I claim to be, what I claim to be…Christian, a member of the body of Christ…a part of him, A PART OF HIM.  And I’ll fight to the death, the death of me and my desires.  I will take up my arms and I will fight me in order that I may fight them who oppose him.  And no, I won’t allow him to take the lead…I’ll give him control and I’ll listen and obey to his commands.

My savior, my maker, my commander in chief, oh how I do love thee so.  Father take me, take all of me and put to death the evil, sinister being who once led me astray.  May I stray no longer, but may I instead walk the narrow path knowing full well that you don’t led me Lord, but you walk with me each and every step of the way.  I’m on my way home to a place I may have never seen, but one I know that I’ll love. And though it isn’t known to me the date or the hour of my arrival, give me the strength, courage and boldness to put on my uniform, take up my weapons and be prepared in every season to give my reason to any who may ask…  I wanna be who you intended me to me, who you originally made me, untainted by the world because you’ve set me free.  Amen


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