God's First Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow

Your Source of Daily Encouragement and Inspiration From God's Word

So Long

on July 7, 2010

I’m not saying goodbye, it’s just been so long since I’ve written.  I know probably no one even reads this anymore, but I just need to release so whatever.  I’m having the day from hell.  I’m so pissed right now, yeah I’m mad at God and probably the feeling won’t last, but right now I don’t even care.  I hate my life.  Am I entitled to days like this? Do I have a right to feel this way?  I don’t know, but it is what it is.  And you know what’s sad is, who do I even get to talk to? Whose shoulder do I cry on?  I’m so sick and tired of stupid people all around feeling like the entire planet, heck maybe even the universe revolves around them.  Why is it when people hurt or get angry or feel guilty they treat everyone else like they have no feelings, like they’re nothing.  Why should I care about anyone who lacks the compassion to care about me.  I’m just sick of humanity right now.  I hate this earth.  I hate this life.  I wanna go home.  I just wanna go home and I’m stuck being punished and maybe I deserve it.  But why should I care?  I feel like drinking or maybe just letting go still I can’t.  I can’t and not even for me, but only for others.  Why do I have to care about them?  They don’t give me a second thought.  Heaven better be worth it, cause it just really sucks right now.  I’m sorry, maybe you don’t expect to hear me this way, but I’m not gonna front.  This is where I’m at.  And I know, I know Satan’s on the attack.  I know he is, cause I was good.  I was good and now I’m not and I really don’t care.  And I don’t wanna try and I’m not gonna lie because God knows what I’m thinking anyway.  I guess if you feel led to pray for me, but I won’t hold my breathe waiting ’cause I know there’s rarely been a time in my life when anyone really gave a damn about me.

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