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Fall My Knees

on June 14, 2010

I’m in one of those moments…the ones you wish would last forever and always, but you know you’ll come down so you just try to bask in it and make it last as long as possible moments.  I guess a “God-high”  It’s funny cause he never changes but we seem to constantly change.  That would be good thing if our change was always in the right direction, but so often it’s not.  But there He sits, patient as He always is waiting lovingly for us to get back.  Prodigal sons and daughters always messing with the world that we are, it’s so easy it seems for us to not forget, but just not remember just who He is to us.  Lord God Almighty who was and is and is to come.  Man, how awesome is that.  I use that word a lot, but I shouldn’t…only God is awesome…only He truly brings one to complete awe…only He is worthy.  Here I am remembering where I once was, where I’ll never be again only by His grace, only by my surrendering to Him and allowing Him to be my guide, my comfort, my counsel, my provider, my substance, my life…my life, my heart, my mind, my soul, me, transformed, redeemed, renewed…complete.  Ha, He made me whole.  Take that in, not only was I lost and broken, but I was missing pieces…a God shaped hole in my heart…He made me whole.  And still I’m far from perfect and I do get down and I do have doubts, but blessed assurance Jesus is mine. He’s mine!  He’s yours!  To think, it’s incredible, it makes me cry a joyous cry.  I’m listening to Carrie Underwood sing How Great Thou Art, actually I’m singing with her, but I’m singing for Him.  Worship, what does it mean, what does it look like.  It’s not just singing, it’s so much more than that.  you know when you get to that place when you just wanna fall before him.  It’s not like you can actually see Him, but you can, you can see Him, taste Him, feel Him with every bone in your being He’s right there…you can touch Him.  He’s touching you, touching your heart, embracing you fully.  It’s like you’re just all wrapped up in Him.  what can I say…what can I do?  Why can’t it last forever and always, how different would my life be.  Not that my life matters and I think that’s the problem, who cares about me?  I mean really, it’s not about me at all is it?  When you have a God like our God how could it be meant to be about anyone but Him.  Yeah ok that almost sounds wrong, but is it?  I don’t think it is.  So heaven, a brand new perfect, blissful earth, sandy beaches, margarita’s…or just me and Jesus…me praising Jesus forever…could that please me, could it be enough?  I don’t know what heaven looks like, but if it was just me feeling exactly how I feel right now…a feeling that just makes me wanna praise him in highest way…it’d be enough.  I could live with that.  And so I know this feeling’s not gonna last. I’m gonna face the world again.  I’m gonna be deceived again.  My flesh will call out to me…again.  My life won’t be perfect, but my Jesus will always be with me and I only have to remember these moments and turn to Him so I can have them once more.  Hallejuah, thank you Jesus, thank you God…until we meet face to face and the sorrow and suffering end, I’ll recall that the victory is not yet to be, the victory is now.

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