God's First Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow

Your Source of Daily Encouragement and Inspiration From God's Word

I AM

on April 20, 2010

Exodus 3: 14 God said to Moses, “I am who I am . This is what you are to say to the Israelites: ‘I AM has sent me to you.’

I’m sitting here and I’m just at a total loss, tears are welling in my eyes and my worship music is blasting and I’m in complete awe. This has always been one of my favorite verses because this is the depth of our God. He’s unlimited.  There’s no name to define.  Nothing can contain Him.  God isn’t great.  God IS great.  Hear me now, we have all these good words to describe him, but they don’t.  He is defines the words, the words don’t define him.  I’m gonna write from my heart and I don’t know what’s gonna come out so please bear with me, I’m just having a God moment.

I can feel Him, I feel Him inside me right now.  It’s like this foereign entity, but it feels so right.  I almost feel like I’ma explode, but it’s a joyeous explosion.  Sometimes I think of who God is and how he could have chosen a wretch like me and I’m at a loss.  I just don’t understand.  All I want, all I want, all I need is to live for my God.  It’s my biggest wish, my deepest desire.  God I want you, I want you so bad.  I want you to never leave me God. I need you to stay.

Who am I, who am I

I ask this question time and time again, but never hear the answer

It’s there, but I don’t want it

I wanna be who I wanna be

Not yours, but mine

I wanna feel and think and speak and act as I want to

You’re good, I know you are, You’re the very best

But my world, my world is built on lies

I’ve been led so far astray and I’m trying to make my way back, I am

But my effort isn’t good enough and time after time I fall off the track and you pick me up and put me back on and I don’t get it

I don’t get your mercy, I don’t get why me

I wanna be better, I wanna be better for you

Why can’t I escape and jsut run to you and fall in your arms and just stay in your embrace forever and ever and ever

I know one day, one that will happen, but I want it now

Sometimes I feel like I just need it now because it’s so hard, you know

It’s a struggle and it sucks God and I know Jesus suffered so far worse than I ever will and I have no right to complain and feel so stupid when I do

I feel on my face in the dirt and there you stand before me and reach out your hand, you help me up

But my knees are weak, they’re so weak and my heart just hurts

I Am, I AM, I Am saved me, you chose me out of billions, you choose me, why? Maybe I’ll never know

But I know this, I wanna honor you.  I want you at the centre.  Jesus be the center of my life.

On one hand I feel joy that makes me wanna smile and on the other there’s this hurt, this heart break that makes me wanna cry

I wanna cry for you and you alone.  I wanna feel your pain, have your concerns

God I beg you take the wheel Lord, take my life. I love you so much, so much it hurts that I can’t be perfect for you

I have victory solely because of you.

God’s at work.  He’s working in me and I wanna get out of His way.  This is my prayer. Oh Lord forget about me, it’s all about you Jesus, it’s all about you.  There’s always gonna be something or someone that seems of more value, that’s border line idol, but I don’t want them God, I want you. So at times when I forget or ignore, please please forgive me because in my herat, it’s all about you.

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